an_sceal: (Live nude women)
Here, read this first- it's about the OpenSource Breast Project.

(The basic idea, from a really biased onlooker, is that men should now be applauded for walking up to women at cons and asking to grope them. Again- I am biased, you should read the original content.)

I could say something about the sexism- can I walk up to every man I see at a con and ask to stick my hand in his pants? (Ew. I would not want to, but that isn't the point.)

I think what I really want to say is that when you are at a con, with friends you don't see all the time, and people you may never interact with other than online, you often find yourself in a headspace that is very removed from your normal boundaries. Many (though certainly not all by any means!) women who interact within fannish circles consider themselves less than physically ideal, or are shy, or have trouble with self esteem issues. When you're involved in the high-energy buzz of a gathering like a con, it's generally much easier to step away from those feelings. Sometimes that can be great. What I see with this "project" is the chance for a lot of women to be put in a situation where they will feel forced to say yes, and then find themselves feeling violated later. In an ideal world, I'm sure no cajoling would take place, no woman would feel like she had to go along with it or be seen as standoffish, not sex positive, or simply not as "cool" as everyone else in the group.

This isn't an ideal world, and this project does not offer anything that will make it one, despite using that as a battle cry. This speaks to me of men who think they have the right to make every woman answer, at any point, "Is it okay if I touch you an an intimate way, but pretend that it's just to make you feel empowered?" Entitled much, gentlemen? What makes it okay for a random stranger to approach a woman in a public setting, and ask for something that IS SEXUAL, when she has no reason to expect such a question? A lot of people use cons as a place to party, no denying that, and how long before some drunk fanboy asks someone who isn't wearing a button, some woman who has done nothing more overtly welcoming than share a hallway or an elevator?

I think what really makes me the most annoyed though, is that for all the claim that this isn't meant to objectify or pressure women who aren't interested? At the core, that's all it does. Because you know what? If I'm at a con, hanging out with my friends, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ADVERTISE WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD BE APPROACHED TO BE GROPED. It creates an immediate level of discomfort that I should not have to be a part of, by suggesting that if I don't make my wishes known, it's okay to ask me if you can touch me in an intimate manner. It's another thing to add to the list of things that every woman must watch out for. Don't be alone in the hallway. Don't walk across the parking lot at night by yourself. Don't expect not to be critiqued for your appearance. Don't have a drink, because it might not be safe to go back to your room alone. Don't go to a convention unless you're prepared to have someone ask to touch your breasts.

Bullshit.

For the record- any of these situations could happen at any time, amongst any group of people. And I actually think that amongst a smaller population of people who knew ahead of time that this would be happening, it could be acceptable. However, I also know how many people read this guy's blog, and I think advocating this kind of behaviour take place at Dragon*Con is not only irresponsible, but downright appalling. If it makes even one woman rethink her safety or comfort level in attending a convention, then it's done exactly what he supposedly argues against.

(Original link from [livejournal.com profile] nestra)
Dear women,

Please, can we all just realize that another woman having some power DOESN'T MEAN SHE IS TAKING YOURS?!?!?

Disgruntled,
Me.

December 2015

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