Dear Reviewers of the World,

I know it's puzzling that three adults can have a romantic subplot without having crazy monkey sex every other page. I get that this is not the norm, and indeed, most books that feature a menage relationship are, in fact, erotica.

That doesn't mean that all of them are. Really. Honest. And you're doing readers a disservice by billing every book that features a non-monogamous relationship as erotica, as well as kind of screwing the book itself, because oddly enough, most people who buy a book because it's supposed to be erotica are expecting, you know, SEX SCENES.


So the recent LJ snowstorm (all the lovely snowflake cookies!) was a glitch. Thank goodness they've corrected it, I mean, it was making people feel good, and that's not what LJ is about! Don't worry, though! In The Coming Months(tm) they will be giving out something *for real* <--their emphasis. Be still, my beating heart! I mean, first you give me the opportunity to pay you $1 for a tiny picture, and then you tell me that (like ala carte icons) soon I'll be able to send one for free, while implying that people took advantage of your good nature and sent wishes of happiness all willy nilly? Gosh, THANKS!

You stay classy, LJ. Stay classy.

(Yes, I am perfectly aware that I am ranting about someting insanely trivial. No need to point it out to me. Judge as you see fit. *grin*)
Look, can we just accept that A 13 YEAR OLD CANNOT GIVE MEANINGFUL CONSENT TO HAVE SEX WITH A 44 YEAR OLD? Especially when said 13 year old has been DRUGGED? What the hell is WRONG with people? And if you SERIOUSLY believe that it is even POSSIBLE for it to have been a "rape after the fact", as I have seen several people argue, kindly get the hell out of my world, and also, die in a fire.

The man was convicted of the crime. He pled guilty. He was sentenced, and he fled that conviction. There is no legal doubt that he raped a 13 year old, and even if you want to argue that she gave consent, it's meaningless, because according to the law a 13 year old CANNOT GIVE CONSENT.

How are people defending this asshole?
Okay, I'm just gonna say this.

If you have nothing better to do than send HATE MAIL to someone organizing the event because you didn't get into the class you wanted at a KNITTING CONFERENCE (please insert: concert meet and greet, sporting event/team, AP class, or whatever you feel is most appropriate to your Special Pain), then you need to SERIOUSLY REEVALUATE YOUR LIFE.

Take your entitlment and shove it. It's called life, and sometimes IT DOESN'T GO YOUR WAY. And then you have to suck it the fuck up and move on. Notice how nowhere in that equation do I mention sending nasty emails to people who did the best they could to make sure that you could get what you wanted, and who alerted everyone to the problem early on, and, oh yes, DIDN'T HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER IT BEING FIXED.

People just disgust me sometimes.
No, really.

The economy -everywhere- is rough right now, here, overseas, EVERYWHERE. Chances are, you all know someone who is out of a job, or about to be, or losing a house, or experiencing severe financial turmoil, if it isn't you personally.

Somewhere along the line, did it become acceptable to point fingers at people and treat them as though it's their fault that they are suffering? Is it suddenly okay to talk down to people, and play the "My life is worse than yours" game when they are talking about how scared and upset they are?


I'm not talking about someone asking for resume feedback, I'm talking about people who are hurting and scared and sick with worry for their families.

Basically? If you can't say something supportive? If you can't be nice? Shut the fuck up and don't say anything at all.

Minor rants

Feb. 3rd, 2009 07:59 am
-Anyone who thinks dog farts are the worst has never smelled the outright stanky horror that is cat farts. Especially cats on a wet food diet. *gags*

-Dear designers of the world- You know what never, EVER looks good? A thick seam right across someone's nipples. STOPPIT!

Off to work.


Oct. 2nd, 2008 08:28 am
Seriously? I know there are people who consider episode titles spoilers. (I am totally baffled by these people) But a TRACKLISTING for an upcoming CD? Are you SHITTING me?

Get a fucking grip, people. Knowing the title of the song doesn't tell you a damn thing about what it's going to sound like. And for that matter- SPOILERS???!?!? For MUSIC??!?!?! Get a damn life.
I hate the Manning brothers. Hate their smug, overpaid, stupid faces.

an_sceal: (Live nude women)
Here, read this first- it's about the OpenSource Breast Project.

(The basic idea, from a really biased onlooker, is that men should now be applauded for walking up to women at cons and asking to grope them. Again- I am biased, you should read the original content.)

I could say something about the sexism- can I walk up to every man I see at a con and ask to stick my hand in his pants? (Ew. I would not want to, but that isn't the point.)

I think what I really want to say is that when you are at a con, with friends you don't see all the time, and people you may never interact with other than online, you often find yourself in a headspace that is very removed from your normal boundaries. Many (though certainly not all by any means!) women who interact within fannish circles consider themselves less than physically ideal, or are shy, or have trouble with self esteem issues. When you're involved in the high-energy buzz of a gathering like a con, it's generally much easier to step away from those feelings. Sometimes that can be great. What I see with this "project" is the chance for a lot of women to be put in a situation where they will feel forced to say yes, and then find themselves feeling violated later. In an ideal world, I'm sure no cajoling would take place, no woman would feel like she had to go along with it or be seen as standoffish, not sex positive, or simply not as "cool" as everyone else in the group.

This isn't an ideal world, and this project does not offer anything that will make it one, despite using that as a battle cry. This speaks to me of men who think they have the right to make every woman answer, at any point, "Is it okay if I touch you an an intimate way, but pretend that it's just to make you feel empowered?" Entitled much, gentlemen? What makes it okay for a random stranger to approach a woman in a public setting, and ask for something that IS SEXUAL, when she has no reason to expect such a question? A lot of people use cons as a place to party, no denying that, and how long before some drunk fanboy asks someone who isn't wearing a button, some woman who has done nothing more overtly welcoming than share a hallway or an elevator?

I think what really makes me the most annoyed though, is that for all the claim that this isn't meant to objectify or pressure women who aren't interested? At the core, that's all it does. Because you know what? If I'm at a con, hanging out with my friends, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ADVERTISE WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD BE APPROACHED TO BE GROPED. It creates an immediate level of discomfort that I should not have to be a part of, by suggesting that if I don't make my wishes known, it's okay to ask me if you can touch me in an intimate manner. It's another thing to add to the list of things that every woman must watch out for. Don't be alone in the hallway. Don't walk across the parking lot at night by yourself. Don't expect not to be critiqued for your appearance. Don't have a drink, because it might not be safe to go back to your room alone. Don't go to a convention unless you're prepared to have someone ask to touch your breasts.


For the record- any of these situations could happen at any time, amongst any group of people. And I actually think that amongst a smaller population of people who knew ahead of time that this would be happening, it could be acceptable. However, I also know how many people read this guy's blog, and I think advocating this kind of behaviour take place at Dragon*Con is not only irresponsible, but downright appalling. If it makes even one woman rethink her safety or comfort level in attending a convention, then it's done exactly what he supposedly argues against.

(Original link from [ profile] nestra)
You know, I snark with frequency and (I hope) aplomb.

But if you NEVER enjoy a show you're watching? If you NEVER like ANY of the books you're reading? If you HATE every single thing that happens in a comic?

Maybe you should get some new hobbies. Holy crap.
Dear January,

You are fucking FIRED.

You are NOT welcome to herald the rest of the year, either.

Wearing my bitchface,
On my way home from Chicken, I thought it odd that my car would suddenly not go above 50 mph. Then 45. Then 40. Then KAPOOOOOFHISSBIGFATNOTHING, and me trying to navigate the car across 2 lanes of rush hour highway traffic with NO ENGINE AND NO POWER BRAKES.

And THEN! Oh THEN! THEN there was the 10 mile tow home, behind [ profile] hdstanley and [ profile] marigot's brand new, umpteen thousand dollar Mountaineer. If you have never experienced the unparalled TERROR that is being dragged behind something worth more than your yearly salary by a 10 foot long piece of YELLOW SEAT BELT, when you (did I mention?) HAVE NO POWER BRAKES ANYMORE, well, run right out and try it!

And now my car sits in the driveway, unaware of my quiet loathing. I, on the other hand, am unaware of how much it's going to cost me to FIX it.


This week has just fucking SUCKED, okay?

ETA: Hey, you know what happens when there's no OIL in your car?

In my defense, I'm really not THAT stupid. The light started flashing at me a couple days ago and I planned to go get a couple quarts tomorrow.

This would be the grenade that made the camel explode.


Jun. 27th, 2007 04:01 pm
UP-fucking-S has LOST MY YARN ORDER.

8 pounds of merino sock yarn is SOMEWHERE in fucking WASHINGTON STATE. 2 pounds of silk laceweight is BURIED IN A SHIPPING DEPOT SOMEWHERE.

And the best part is? The company I ordered it from, the company I've BEEN ordering from, hasn't answered -any- of my emails about this.


I am -out of yarn- people. Unless I want to start selling my personal stash in the next two weeks or so, they'd better deliver SOON.

Oh, FFS.

Jun. 2nd, 2007 03:31 pm
I am so sick of this shit.

I am a fan. I am a member of fandom. I read, write, and enjoy slash, including Harry Potter slash. I enjoy Supernatural slash, and yes, that means consenting adult relationships between two guys who happen to be related. If that doesn't do it for you, fine and dandy.


For that matter, I have not ever advocated hurting children, abusing them sexually, mentally, or physically. Reading a story in which some or all of those things happen does not mean I condone those actions, and in fact, I choose NOT to read stories where those events are depicted in a manner that I find uncomfortable. If you really believe that I, as a survivor of childhood mental, physical, and sexual abuse, would give my time, creative energy, and passion to a group of people that I felt promoted any of those things, then kindly excuse yourself from my life, thanks.

That being said, I can't speak for all of fandom. Nobody can. There are, I'm sure, some seriously twisted folk out there, the kind of people who would hurt others without consent to get their jollies, the kind who WOULD harm a child. There are some in fandom. There are some in law enforcement. There are some on tv, and some in your library, and some at the grocery store. That doesn't mean that you can say "The grocery store is dangerous. They sell candy, which attracts children, and someone who hurt them there.", and then expect me to back you up when you want to close all the grocery stores.


I am a fan. I am a member of fandom. I am a slasher.

And I am NOT a fucking pedophile.

(For the record- her entry wasn't directed at me. I don't know her. I read her journal linked from someone else. I'm not trolling. I didn't post a comment to her journal because she clearly has no intention of discussing it with anyone, and that's certainly her right. She, and people who have had her reaction, have pissed me right the fuck off, and I'm ranting.)
Yesterday, someone on a knitting community I'm a part of posted about a bad experience at a LYS. She politely refrained from giving the name of the shop in her original post. Someone else jumped into the fray to talk about how annoying "crafters" are.

Now look, I'm not going to claim that there aren't some DAMN annoying crafters out there. Personality is one thing. People who walk into a store with the idea of selling their handspun (single skeins, no more than 60 yds a piece, I'm sure) are probably very annoying to the owners/etc. I will admit to feeling much the same way about the spinners I see pop up from time to time who go from "I just got my first drop spindle!" to "How much should I sell my 38 yards of merino rope for?" in the course of about two days. (No dig to novelty yarn spinners. I've seen some damn cool stuff out there.) You know nothing about your craft, nothing about spinning a balanced or -durable- yarn, and I'm sorry, you shouldn't be selling yarn that you don't know for SURE is usable. I feel the same way about dyed roving. I don't sell felted roving, and I make damn sure that everything I post for sale is something I know is a quality product, ready for use.

On the other hand, the snippy little holier-than-thou attitude about "crafters" gave me pause. Excuse me? You work in a fucking YARN STORE. Who did you think you were going to be dealing with, but crafters? This is exactly why I hated going into a particular LYS on the weekends, because the woman behind the register couldn't say a damn word to anyone without being condescending. It -is- possible to impart knowledge without looking down on someone. (I say, as I snark about someone...)

We are ALL crafters. If you are creating something with a use from raw materials, explain to me how you -aren't- a craftsperson. I stopped reading the blog of a woman who drew a distinction between her handspun and that of "crafters", because SHE was an ARTIST. Well, I paint with dye, and I put my heart and soul into the things I spin and card and dye, and at the end of the day what make it satisfying to me is that I've done something with my hands, I've created something that I feel is a good example of my craft.

I am damn proud to be a craftswoman.
My journal, my politically-incorrect, rotten opinion. 

Vegans, as a whole, annoy the shit out of me.  I'm sure there are some lovely people out there who are vegan and manage to have great lives without spending all of their time lost in the wonder of how much better they are than everyone else, but I sure as shit haven't met them. 

Far more annoying in the scheme of things though, are vegan knitters.  If you don't want to knit with wool?  -Don't-.  But spare me the fucking lecture about how wool is cruel, especially if you plan to trot out that tired old PETA link.  I've read it.  I've also read the evidence given by shepherds who would like to protect their flocks from getting skin parasites and fly larvae.

Oh, oh, and tell me all about how silk is cruel, because they boil the poor widdle bugsies inside the cocoons!  Please!

Maybe then you can move on to angora rabbits, and tell me how traumatized and mistreated they are, despite the fact that I've seen bunnies sitting calmly in someone's lap while they are spun -from-.

In short- vegan knitters who feel the need to tell everyone else how wrong they are for using animal fibers, please, bite my wool-trousered ass. 

This concludes my latest round of "grrrrr, Vegans!"
I really like my job. I do. The work is fun, fairly easy, and the day goes fast. Some of the people I work with, in particular, are wonderful, fascinating people, ones I can have a real conversation with and not have to censor myself. There is a lot to be said for being able to live an open life without fear of reprisals at work. I enjoy that.

However, sometimes the office politics in this place drive me up the fucking wall.
Long rant under here. Skip it if you don't want to hear my whining about work. )
[ profile] a_treitell offered some thoughts on homeschooling, and that kind of got me going. This was meant to be a comment, but I got a little too wordy.

I was homeschooled, grades 8-11. I spent 4 months in an arts school in Arizona during 11th grade, then another 3 months homeschooling in 12th before I turned in my credits and graduated early with a diploma they printed me on a laser printer in the office. Technically, yes, I graduated from a recognized Arizona high school, but I really shouldn't have.

I taught myself. My Mom tried to be as involved as her schedule allowed when we first started, but that faded within a month or so and I was left largely to my own devices. Somewhere in my library I still have the algebra books I was supposed to be learning from- they are nearly brand new. I hated math (and still do), and found that the problems I had with transposing numbers so frustrating that by grade 9 I'd entirely stopped doing any math work at all unless my Mom made me. English, social studies, and the rest were never a problem- I tested out of most of them at a college level in 7th grade, and I enjoyed learning them, so I kept it up.

When I enrolled in the arts school, I was able to turn all my classes into real credits in the state of Arizona. I took a math class to finish out my requirements for them, and placed in pre-Algebra. In 11th grade. After 6 weeks of absolute struggle, I transferred to a consumer math class, got an A, and called it quits.

I'm smart. I know I'm smart. I'm well-educated about the things that matter to me, and I have decent research practices and goal-setting abilities, but I was utterly stymied by the few college courses I took because I had forgotten how to sit in a classroom and learn things at someone else's pace. It was frustrating and boring, and while I had a 4.0, I hated every second of it. I -know- that being homeschooled has everything to do with that.

Socially, homeschooling was a disaster. Without going into a huge amount of detail, by 13 I was already on the emotional roller-coaster ride that was hormones, depression, and anxiety. Being homeschooled and living in a remote area gave me the perfect reasons not to make any kind of effort, and for at least 2 years in there, I didn't speak to a soul outside my immediate family and my best friend. I am still unintentionally standoffish, even to people who know me well. The first place I learned any kind of adult social skills was -the internet-. On a -fandom mailing list-. I'm just saying, it's a wonder that people don't run screaming more often.

Now, the positives- I -did- get to learn at my own pace. I learned by delving into things, by immersing myself in a subject. It was a fantastic, wonderful thing, and one that never could have happened in a traditional public school classroom. I'm truly grateful for that. I'm grateful that I was able to escape the extreme and violent bullying that I lived with every day in middle school. I'm happy that I was able to make a study of nature, and able to enjoy the wild places in Hawaii, even if I hated living there at the time. Being that independent as a teenager has helped me be that independent as an adult.

The myth that -all- homeschooled children are smarter, better educated, and better parented is just that. It's a lot like saying that every public school is a cesspit full of gangs and drugs. Each experience is different, and while I certainly know some people who did a -fabulous- job homeschooling, I know others who used it as an excuse to segregate their children from the nefarious masses and fill their heads with nothing but religious dogma. And I know that in my case, it was the best of a bad situation, and I'm glad I was able to do it, but I should have been monitored more closely, and I should have been reminded that sometimes learning is work.

Given my experiences, and those of other people I know who have both parented homeschoolers and been homeschooled, I can honestly say that unless the situation was completely dire, I would never consider it for my child.


Aug. 1st, 2006 01:29 pm
You know, I don't require huge gestures of gratitude. I actually never quite know what to do with them, but I try to make sure people know they are appreciated.

Really though? All I want is some simple acknowledgement. "Thank you". That's all.

Especially when I just drove to get your lunch because YOU can't.


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